Can you relate to this?
Question:
Hi Friend!! I am a 23 year old male, very shy, very lonely, and on top of all that I am partially blind. I can honestly say that I know exactly how you feel. The last festive season was absolutely torture for me. I was absolutely alone, tears were my only release. My gun was my only companion. Every thought I had revolved around suicide, but my faith in GOD was the only thing that prevented me from committing suicide. In the past I used to only do stuff or go places if there was a chance of meeting. Miss Right, but the problem is that when I do see someone that I am attracted to, I am too dam shy to talk to them. So I always find myself in a relationship of convenience to take away the loneliness, but this does not last long, because I end up feeling worse knowing that this the wrong person. If I see couples that are in love, I feel totally depressed and lonely. Why can’t I have that? Am I a bad person? When am I going to be blessed with true love? These are the questions I often ask myself. This new year i’ve decided that I’m going to change my way of thinking. I decided that I must leave it to GOD, I must have faith that he will find someone for me. I will not spend my time dwelling on what I do not have. In most of the religious scriptures it states the receiving is in the giving. My mission now is to fill my heart with love for all, and try and find some kind of community service project, which will enable me to help others. I must not be selfish and dwell on my own problems, but instead try to help others in need. I am actually becoming comfortable being alone, I even went to the movies alone for the first time. Yes…there were couples there but I was actually able to deal with. So I think there is hope for us yet. Know that you are in my prayers. If you need a sympathetic, or maybe just a pathetic, ear to talk, I’m just an email away! Love Tino South Africa
Response:
Hi Mr. Anonomous and everybody else. First of all I would like to tell that I have been where you have been, you know wished that I wouldn’t wake up tomorrow, so I know how you feel about loneliness. Then I might have the answer why lonely people can have a hard time find someone to talk to. I’m the kind of person that everyone comes to with their problems in real life, and I must say it drains me for energy, you simply get tired of people who comes knocking down your door all the time, and can’t talk about nothing but their problems. So then you make up excuses why you don’t have time today, or excuses for getting off the phone. I know this can sound hard and cruel, but it’s honest. I guess the problem is that lonely people are trying too hard sometimes, and then they scare people away. I my self am 21 years old, and I have never had a girlfriend or never kissed someone, and of course that bothers me. But I guess I have made it into an advantage instead of disadvantage. When I look at my colleagues and their wives and girlfriends I feel so free compared to them. My colleagues have no control over their own life, that belongs to their wives. I’m just glad that I’m independent, free and can do whatever I want. I guess when you are completely fucked up you have nothing to loose, and you might as well go for it, without thinking about the consequences
