The Evil New Wife
Question:
"cj503" <cj50…@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:d071001bcf7391d92c728687b14683fc@localhost.talkaboutsupport.com… > It’s me again. I understand what your saying but the thing is I’m > currently > a stay at home mom (raising 2 step children with new hubby) and I’m not > planning on going back to work for atleast another 2 years (in school now > for degree). My concern is that if he thinks he can break one rule in the > divorce papers why won’t he think he can break another. Our son doesn’t > get to see his dad that often and I want my ex to spend time with him. Our > son needs his dad, parenting time to me is: the parent(s) spend time with > their chid, not just the stepmom while dads at work. My ex seems more > concerned with his job than his son and I do have it in my divorce papers > that my ex will have him on only days that he doesn’t work. It just > crushes me to my sons dad make his work a priority rather than his son.
My ex organises lots of his own activities, like golf, tennis, and squash, on days when the children are at his house (they live half the week with me and half with him). It still puzzles me, that he’d choose to use the little time he has with them for other things. The thing is I wouldn’t dream of telling him how to conduct his relationship with his children. It’s way outside my circle of control. Nor would I dream of trying to stop him having equal access, because all the research says that children from divorced homes do better if they are involved with both parents. Let it go. You are trying to control someone else’s life. This isn’t something you get to choose. Just be what you think a parent ought to be and your child will almost certainly see things and all the people involved for what they are in the fullness of time. Wendy
Response:
This is a simple one. Grab your divorce papers and go talk to a lawyer. Work out a payment plan with him/her if you can’t afford it. If you can find a girl lawyer, do it – girl lawyers do more psychological damage to asshole ex-husbands than guy lawyers do. After the judge has ruled in your favor, file a civil suit to recover the attorney fees. Good Luck. Buster Van Buren www.dearbuster.com www.dearbuster.blogspot.com bus…@dearbuster.com "cj503" <cj50…@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:603509b7b6efdd0601198c7e44dfb374@localhost.talkaboutsupport.com… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Three years ago I got a divorce from husband because he was having an > affair and we have a 3 1/2 yearold son together. My divorce was very hard, > I had to leave nothing and start all over. I kept our son pretty much > through the whole divorce, my ex would come and get his son on occasion to > only drop him off at my mothers house an hour later. When my ex did come > and get our son I had to provide him with food and diapers or else he said > he wouldn’t feed or change him. Now mind you at the time I only made 8$ an > hour and paying for daycare and I wasn’t getting any child support. > Our divorce was finally over and our divorce papers were made to be very > strict because of all the problems I had with him. Well two years ago I > found out that my ex was going to work at the firestation for 24 hours and > leaving my son with his girlfriend (the one he was cheating on me with). I > got very upset because he was breaking the rules of the divorce papers. He > said that he would never do it again and stupid me I belived him. > A year ago my ex got married to his girlfriend and now he is doing it > again. He goes to work for 24 hours and leaves our son with his > girlfriend. It’s hard for me to catch him doing this because his > fire-fighter buddies cover for him. And when I do catch him he says that > his new wife is our sons new mother so it’s just the same as dropping our > son off with me. I’ve asked not to do it anymore but he says the divorce > papers are more like guidlines than rule and that when you read them it’s > very gray and that he will continue to do it. Our son only see’s his dad > about 10 days a month but his dad chooses to work half thoes days. > As far as the new wife she is just as bad. Our son is in a speech program > because he is not talking very well and my ex is supposed to drop him off > and pick him up. But instead he goes to work and lets the new wife drop > him off. > Well I caught him on friday at work when he was supposed to be spending > time with his son and he flipped out on me and said that I would never be > able to do anything about it and to just live with it. Next thing I know > his wife calls me and starts to yell at me and tell me how much of a bad > mother I am and then she likens me to crack ho (she’s 23 and never had > kids). Then she tells me that her and her husband can do what ever they > want with our son. > I just don’t know what to do? I feel like they have more control of the > situation than I do and he’s the one not following the divorce papers. > Need help! Advice Pls! > Living in Arizona
Response:
>little-itty-bitty-titty trolls? Me and Melissa? All snickering aside, >anyone who uses that epithet loses any right to claim they are "non-sexist".
I missed that one. Ugh. Did catch girl lawyer though. Love, Melissa "This virtual sand tastes just like real sand." -Line from one of the cartoons SS watches.
Response:
The Watsons wrote in news:_UY1d.159838$4o.109719@fed1read01: – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> "Buster Van Buren" <bus…@dearbuster.com> wrote in message > news:2GS1d.195921$Fg5.18442@attbi_s53… >> You know…I get ragged on plenty, and I’ve got a pretty thick skin, >> but you would think that when I take the time to honestly answer >> someone’s question with legitimate non-sexist advice, you would think >> that little itty-bitty-titty trolls wouldn’t be so quick to take a >> jab. My job is to dispense advice. My goal is to educate and help >> people…even people I don’t particularly like or care about. Had I >> signed this post with "Abigail Van Buren" or "Dear Abby", would you >> have instead answered with a "Right On, Sister!"? (And by the way, >> Buster happens to be my real name – and I like it – so kiss my ass.) >> 6. The end result? More people possibly helped or amused or made >> aware that they aren’t alone with their problems and issues. >> So, in conclusion…I’ll continue trying to help when someone asks >> for it. I’ll give them advice that I think is right – even if others >> think I’m wrong. I’ll continue signing all my posts with my websites >> and email address – and when my syndicated column (which is already >> being published in six newspapers across the U.S.), eventually gets >> around to your local news stand – feel free to write in to the Editor >> and tell him what an asshole I am….It will be good publicity for me >> and my growing group of regular readers. > You’re not interested in dispencing advice, you’re interested in what > looks pretty in your column, and I hope you don’t think your column > alone qualifies you enough to give advice. > Jess
Yeah, I see he’s all over the groups I read regularly. It doesn’t appear he has any experience in the subject matter, but feels he is expert enough to give advice. Something he should remember, is those other advice columnists didn’t rely simply on themselves for answers but routinely went to experts in whatever field the question arises from to get answers that are truly helpful to the questioner. This guy seems to have an over-inflated ego that seems to think he knows it all. His condescending attitude toward anyone who *dares* question his advice doesn
